Career or kids? What should I tell them?

What should I tell my daughters? Careers versus kids? Breadwinner versus caregiver?

2 6 years ago, I was 26 years old. I had a new MBA and a new baby girl. I was sure I could have a career and kids, but I was wrong.

I dreamed of having a meaningful, impactful, and successful career from as early as I can remember. The working world was filled with wonderful options, and I imagined being a primary breadwinner.

I’m sure you see where this is going.

In the last 26 years, I’ve spent a lot more time caring for my five wonderful girls and a lot less time breadwinning. That made sense given the nature of their dads’ careers, and I enjoyed that magical time. I’ve also cared for my parents in the last two years, who both suffered severe memory loss.

But the consequences of my decision to work part-time so I could stay home have left me in tears many, many, many times. And I beg you not to tell me “you could have it all if only"…because that isn’t true in all cases, in my case.

After ten years of working part-time, establishing a career has more challenging than I could ever imagine. I’m forever tempted to tell my girls that they should never ******* give up their career to stay home in support of a family and a spouse’s career, but that’s not the message I want to send.

But what is?

Please tell me what I should say to my five daughters if you do any hiring.